Twin of Me

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.
Actually nk tulis ini entry, Ya Allah sebak kat dada Allah je yang tahu.
Bertambah sebak bila teringatkan apa Mie cakap semalam.

Well, kesempatan gap between exam almost more than a week ni, memandangkan jiwa mmg dh terbang balik nak jumpa adik-adik. Rindunya. Mind set cepat2 bertukar balik Besut.
balik tergesa-gesa la jawabnya.
Then umi cakap nak balik Kuala Berang. Ada tahlil arwah ayah. (Actually arwah ayah yang ni atuk sedara sebelah umi) and majlis solat hajat untuk kak long.
and I already known about kak long dah lama tapi tak pernah pom sempat nak jenguk kak long. biasanya kak long akan sihat selepas sakit sekejap. tapi kali ni, lama kak long sakit.

Dah tiga bulan kak long tak pergi kerja. Bila tahu, means kak long memang tgh sakit berat. Kak Long Kemaman pun ade sebut pasal Kak Long mase stay overnight kat rumah dia. and last time jumpa kak long before kak long start sakit, masa Kak Ngah Kemaman kahwin. and teringat masa tgh pack doorgift.

"Kakak, nanti nak kahwin, jangan lah beli bekas macam ni, lawa tu lawa tapi menyusahkan orang." kata Kak Ngah Kemaman sambil angkat bekas isi telur tu. Semua org khusyuk buat kerja.
It made me stunned for a while. Huh? " Jap, asal kak ngah kabo (cakap) ke kakak? Tu kabo ke kak ngah tuh" tangan tunjuk kat Kak Ngah lagi sorang.
Bermula aksi tuding2 jari from Kak Ngah to Kak Long and finally landed to Kak Long Kemaman.
and masa tu in my mind, seriously I will only get married after these sisters married.

But now,

All I want now is to see Kak Long get well soon.

Mula2 sampai je rumah Mie Kuala Por. mata dah liar cari Kak Long. then Mie ckp, Kak Long kat rumah dia. Masuk je dalam bilik, rasa lemah gile kaki ni. I can't see her like that. Nak rebah, nak nangis kuat2. What have happened to my sister? She couldn't walk properly and that time, all I can say to myself.

Kak Long is the strongest sister I have in my life. and don't burst here Nazual! nanti kak long lagi sedih.

Why I said she's the strongest sister that I have?

She's the one yang made me struggle masa primary school nak masuk Science School. Everytime hantar kak  long kat SESDU, rasa terpegun. and everytime she told me about science school student, saya rasa terpikat. and that time, I set my mind to be in Science School. and 27th February of 2007, I register in Science Pasir Puteh even macam tak suka sgt sbb mmg dah mind set nak masuk SESDU. but yeah, five years being in SBP, its like what she said. Seronok. I learnt to be a person there.

And since she being in SESDU, kak long always hospitalized. but she keeps struggling and finally success. She got what she want. Masuk universiti. Graduated. Kerja. Beli kereta guna duit sendiri. Prefect but who knows behind all these things? She keep fall sick. tapi kak long kuat. dia redah semua tu.

and the most important is. in this world. would u able to find anyone who admit their second cousin as their little siblings? who treat their second cousin soooo well?
I love kak long.kak ngah. kak ngah kemaman. kak long kemaman. as they're my sister.

and terasa berat air mata nak menitis. lepas siap semua solat hajat,tahlil arwah, before masuk tido. I suggest kat Mie pasangkan aircond utk kak long. since kak long tak tahan panas. and jawapan mie buat saya rasa sedih jauh dalam hati. "umm..takde siling. Hajat tu nak pasang jugak tapi tengok la mcm mana. kalau panjang umur kak long...." and when we talked about preparations for this coming Eid. " Entahla macam mana nak raya tahun ni..." tak sanggup nak dengar rasanya.

I really want to see kak long get well soon. I want her to see me graduate as a doctor. I want her to be in my graduation day.
and semalam before tidur, kak long tanya mcm mana study. and she asked me about my ambition. and of course die cerita mase kak long still a student. nescafe. nescafe. haha. we're in the same boat la kak long. nescafe tak pernah tinggal. tetiba rasa sayu.
and bila tengok kak long menangis sbb tak tahan sakit, terasa berat di bahu. ya Allah. grant her a paradise. She already be a good sister and daughter. Please, please get her well soon.

and before balik Besut, sempat lagi ambil teddy kak long. Comel.
Her name is AA. AA stand for Along.Aida. Kak Long Aida.

Stay strong kak long! I want you to be in my graduation ceremony. and I want all my sisters are there when I'm going to depart abroad. InsyaAllah.

but here, what I would like to highlight is,
I'm very grateful to be your little sister. to all of you, sisters.
And proudly said, I have sisters. and I wouldn't be alone.
I have them by my side. They have me by my side.

InsyaAllah.

p/s: to all readers, could you lend some prayers? Pray that kak long get well soon. I love her. no matter what come across.