The Captain of Journey

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- typically life of Nazual since starting clinical posting
- life have change a lot since then, numerous assignments and case write ups, numerous lectures and revision need to be completed, numerous stairs and wards, clinics need to attend to, leaving me such a skinny and cengkung medical student that wanted more time so I could sleep happily

When I look up at the sky

The stars, see, are sparkling

Each giving off its own light

Like the people on this planet

and yeah, most of my friends are graduating, changing tittle from Ms to Mrs, from single and now forever being with someone else. (eventhough honestly, Allah kan ada dengan kita since kita belum jadi baby lagi, kenapa pula single forever? - Nazual's typical thinking)

Yeah, so I, too

Want to shine particularly bright

I close my eyes and make a vow in my heart

And entrust my dreams to that shooting star

Tipu lah kan tak jealous, tengok member dah graduate. Yang pasal changes of status tu tak lah jealous sebab, sebab rasa mcm benda tu rimas je having someone attached to you for 24H. Ke tak? As a free spirit person, I would love to wandering around myself. Hahaha. 

I’m in my usual park

I can see the night scenery

On the slide

That’s been my special seat for years

Okay back to the main points, sesungguhnya seorang Nazual tersangat lah sibuk dan tidak begitu berperasaan untuk menulis (sebenarnya banyak je masa cuma buat masa sekarang macam tunggang terbalik nak arrange masa sendiri) tapi nak sangat menulis balik. 

I know certain of us, feels so demotivated soon knowing most of you colleagues graduate early (even some of them are younger than you but still they are graduating early). Nazual rasa the exact feeling bila semua kawan baik time sekolah rendah (yang end up still together sampai waktu kolej) lah, kawan masa Uni-lah, semua dah graduate and dah start cari kerja. Ada yang dah start kerja. Kadang-kadang tak faham pun kenapa demotivated sangat. (Too much of thought on this, why would emotion is too complicated?)

Whenever I’m worried about something, I come here  

Just like then, I’m on my way to my dreams 

But unable to fulfil them

“Maybe this is the end of the line” 

The struggles just for the sake of a slip of paper, recognition of our hard-works ain't?
Mungkin rasa macam kenapa lah dragging sangat course ni?
Mungkin, ahhh next week ada quiz lagi, assessment lagi.

There are days when I say weak things like that 

But every time, I remember

That starry sky where I looked for a shooting star 

The wish I made when I was little

I have all of those thinking and yet too disappointed with myself. 
Sedihnya when you finally realised growing up have become such a pain. 
Sedihnya bila sedar semangat yang membara suatu tempoh dahulu makin malap dibawa diri sendiri, 
Ibaratnya segala ujian (termasuklah exams, quizs, assignments dan thoughts lamanya nak graduate) seperti air, sedikit-sedikit memadam api yang membara. 
Dimana hilang penuhu bunsen yang pernah memetik, dan menyalakan semangat itu hinggakan barisan penemuduga, barisan cikgu-cikgu pernah bangga hingga berdiri menghadiakan senyuman suatu ketika dahulu. 

and someone told me:
" It might be long, but who's care. It's my own journey." His words stroke my head like shooting arrow. 

Hasn’t changed even now

When I look up at the sky

The stars, see, are sparkling

Each giving off its own light

Kenapa kita concern pasal orang lain, as in concern in term of giving out negative vibes to ourselves. Mana boleh samakan apple dgn apple kan? (eh)  
There is no pathway with such a smooth and enjoyment to be relax throughout it. Even yang dah graduate tu pun undergoes a great obstacles in order to be how they are now. 
So instead of rasa demotivated, apa kata take it positively. 
One day it will be ours. 

Sama juga dengan yang kena repeat papers or even repeat years. 
Never think you as a failure, nobody is born as a failure. 
It's only a failure if you are down, and you can't get up from it. 
Its okay if it took such a drag of your time, while others make it fast,
because,
You are the captain of your own journey. 

Like the people on this planet

Yeah, so I, too

Want to shine particularly bright

I close my eyes and make a vow in my heart

And entrust my dreams to that shooting star

Okay, cuba buka tingkap, gelap tak kat luar?
Kalau gelap, cuba cari bintang-bintang.
Kalau tak gelap, boleh tunggu beberapa jam sampai kat luar tu gelap.
Tengok bintang-bintang yang cantik tu,
Tak semua sama bukan?

Sama dengan kita manusia, 
Yang Allah jadikan pelbagai bentuk, rupa secara fizikal, mental dan rohani.
Jangan samakan kita dengan orang lain, sebab hakikatnya kita diciptakan berbeza antara satu sama lain. 
Appreciate ourselves, appreciate people around us.
And be grateful of His blessings. 
Don't entrust your dream of anything aside of Him, because afterall, Allah is the best planner. 

Wallahualam. 

MW
141220717
Georgetown, Penang.